Wednesday, November 18, 2009

The Beat Goes On

We're 3 days into 2 weeks worth of CRTC hearings and already my ears are starting to bleed.

Trying to make sense of it all is, well, a challenge -- especially if you're someone new to the game who's only checking things out in a semi-nationalistic 'what's all this then' situation.

That said, if you want to see 60-year-old men stomp their feet and roll their eyes like spoiled little children... well, you should pull yourself up a seat 'cause this is the new 'Best show on Earth'.

Words fly, tempers flare - it's a borderline kerfuffle...

And then they break for lunch or Nap Time... or whatever.

And then the next guy's up at bat. (By 'guy' I generally mean 'well-paid-legal-team' and/or 'well-heeled-exec board'.)

At least that's been my experience thus far.

Today was an extra special helping of dumbass-ery. That special kind that would've lead to my Grandpa taking me over his knee if I ever talked to him like that.

But since most of them are grandpa's... I'm not really sure how you're supposed to punish them for bad behavior.

Today's display was, well... disturbing.

And there's a whole hell of a lot I could write here -- involving buckets of venom and vitriol.

But today can be summed up in 140 characters:

"Too bad the industry sees investment in Canadian content as punishment" - @gregobr

Le sigh.

The WGC is up this Monday, at the end of the day no less -- a fact which I personally think is a load of crap -- 'cause, let's face it: our commissioners seem genuinely ready to pull a 'coyote ugly' by 4pm.

That said, I want to take some time and thank the WGC for putting together this swanky Decoder Ring for those of us who're watching the events unfold and wondering what the hell is coming our of their mouths.

'Cause after what went on in that room today... well, I'm kind of ashamed to even be giving it airtime.

On another note, there's also a bit of news (yes, news!) coming down the pipe for yours truly. More on that to come shortly, but it's pretty cool.

Anyways, that's it for now. Sleep tight... 'cause something tells me it ain't getting any prettier out there.

Cheers,
Brandon

Monday, November 16, 2009

Let's Give Konrad a Hand

I'll admit it: I'm not always a big fan of the CRTC.

As an outsider looking in, I'm often left cold by the attitudes and rituals involved as people line themselves up in front of the commission.

Let alone the actual back and forth (and eye-rolling, and blustering, and...) that often occurs.

That said, I think today went a small way toward lighting the fire back into my jaded lil' Canadian heart.

In his opening speech, Konrad Von Finckenstein (the Chairman of the CRTC) said this:

"This hearing is about the future – a future where the old distinctions between over-the-air and discretionary television services will be irrelevant to most Canadians. It is about ensuring that Canadians continue to receive high-quality Canadian programming regardless of where they live or how they receive their television programming. It is also about ensuring that Canadian broadcasters and distributors have the flexibility to respond to changing audience demands, revenue opportunities and new paradigm-changing technologies, while using the most effective platforms.

This hearing is not about the past. It is not about enshrining or protecting old business models. And it is not about taxing consumers."

I want to give kudos to him for at least setting the bar.

Unfortunately, well, the presenters today at the CRTC hearing (aka 'Fee For Carriage Round 3') didn't quite get the memo.

And the Chairman was having none of it.

Here are a few of my favourite quotes from the day's events (and the twitters that followed):

"I'd rather deal with the Rogers I know than the one I encountered today, think about it" - Konrad Von Finckenstein (Chairman of the CRTC)

"My bedtime reading is the Broadcasting Act" - CRTC Commissioner Suzanne Lamarre (*I tend to use it as a sleep-aid, myself*)

"I don't understand why you don't realize it's in your long-term interest to come to an agreement" - Konrad Von Finckenstein to Rogers presenters

"Why is it anytime some1 says, "I'm not trying to avoid the question," the very next thing out of their mouths is attempt to avoid Q?" - @heywriterboy

"@DecencyLegion: Isn't this interesting. Nobody in Canada can figure out how to make money and USA net spins off a new channel http://j.mp/nJ8EU" - @DecencyLegion

And quite possibly the... well... the most honest exchange I've ever heard at a CRTC meeting:

"Why is this so difficult?" - Konrad Von Finckenstein
"We don't have our hand out. They do." - Rogers

(wow!)

Annnd one more:
"You're making this sound like a religious crusade" - Konrad Von Finckenstein to some nigh-evangelical Rogers Execs.

In closing... I'm not sure I've processed everything just yet... but I gotta give solid props to Chairman Von Finckenstein, who was definitely in fine 'Grow-the-F*ck-up' form today.

Hopefully we'll have more of this whole 'cut through the b.s.' attitude... 'cause I - as, you know, a tax-paying Canadian citizen - think it's about damn time.

Cheers,
Brandon

P.S: The Star has a summary of the day's events here.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Thank You


I have never known the call of conscription, or felt the terror of bombs exploding around me.

I have never smelled the acrid stench of a battlefield, or heard the screams of dying friends.

I have never killed a man, or survived a bullet wound, or lived my life in fear.

I have never known war.

For this, and for the sacrifices that have allowed me these things.

For your sacrifices.

I thank you.

Please, Rest in Peace.

Monday, November 09, 2009

Side Effects

I've noticed that there's been an interesting side-effect to my eternal quest to drop my weight into the realm of 'not-obese' (thank you, Wii Fit).

My wedding ring keeps wanting to fly south for the winter.

Yep, every once and a while -- while gesticulating or generally 'talking' -- my ring will make a break for it.

Bags packed and ready to go, it lies in wait for that perfect moment, crouched at the brink, hardly breathing, ready to pounce.

Today it made a full-tilt run at the edge and lept for freedom; a bold, brash 'hey-I-can-see-my-house-from-here' break for the door.

And I didn't suspect a thing until I noticed its gleaming halo flying through the air.

Needless to say, the image of me chasing a rolling wedding band down the hall at work was quite sight to behold.

I've seriously considered crazy-glue at this point, but I may just go with a resizing.

That said, the idea of paying someone to take gold out of my ring seems a bit ridiculous... :S -- I wonder if they hand the glittering remnants back to me in a little CSI-style forensics baggy or something afterward?

In other news, I've managed to get my Chuck spec back on track. Turns out that the general feedback was positive tho' the major complaint was that it felt like a season 1 spec.

Which, yeah, is problematic.

So I decided to throw caution to the wind and say 'screw season 2'... I've remastered my baby (with a heaping re-imagining of dialogue) into a Season 3 spec. This, of course, has lead to me sneaking far into spoiler territory for one of my favourite shows -- an excursion I fear has wounded my soul (while breaking my own sacred 'no spoiler' self-pact) yet has yielded vast riches in the way of relevant story points.

Points that have been judiciously (deliciously?) extrapolated upon to solidify it's stature in the 3rd season -- though I must admit to a somewhat maternal fear that I might be a bit too far ahead of the curve on this one.

That said, I'm liking how this has turned out so far, yes, there's probably another draft awaiting after this -- aaaalways another draft -- but for now I shall begin the final wrap-up touches before sending it out to be beaten about the head and neck.

After that, well, then I get to dust off my spec pilot all proper-like. More on that shortly.

Cheers!
Brandon

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Woe is CBC

One of the hard things about being a patriot in Canada is that it's like a secret club but without the cool handshakes or harshly-whispered passwords.

Even worse, when it's time to stand up and criticize something that you love -- from an honest place of wanting to see it improve -- well, in Canada, you're pretty much doomed to get lost in the boos and hisses of all the haters.

I don't want to come off as a hater.

And yet, I can't help fearing that I will.

So please know that I don't do this to be belligerent, but I can't in good conscience be silent about what I've been noticing so far. It's a trend that seems erroneous from the get-go, and I hope that it's something that'll be rectified in the future:

For a Canadian show called 'The National' it sure likes to spend a lot of time dealing with American issues... and issues that have little to no meaning for most of the country -- a fact that it proudly states in one case -- yet are still allowed to take up valuable air time (*cough* royal family visit *cough*).

I've watched 2 episodes of The National now and I have to say that so far I've been left out in the cold by what's been offered thus far.

See, I like to think of News shows as Merchants. You walk up, they show you what they've got on special and then it's up to you to decide whether or not to buy in with your valuable time.

Last night's 'special': "Is NASA a waste of Money?"

I'm sorry, but really?

REALLY?

Listen, I loved Wendy Mesley in Marketplace. I think that it was a truly fantastic Canadian show (one which I feel I've discovered far too late). But watching her do the NASA segment had me cringing in my chair.

I've never felt physically embarrassed for someone the way I did as I watched that unfold.

"NASA has a budget of $17.4 billion -- that's 40% of what the US gives for the Department of Education in the States!"

Followed by lame commentary from some random American who I don't know or care about talking about how NASA is basically useless now and should exist to give money to the private sector in the form of prizes, etc.

Wendy was quick to segue into the Canadian angle with: "well, we've managed to find a few Canadians who agree with him".

And by 'a few' she really wasn't kidding. 6 people in the segment. Including one guy who stood there looking dumbfounded and one little girl who thought NASA had a budget of a 'million' dollars and was utterly flabbergasted to learn that they, in fact, have '18 billion dollars' (apparently 17.4 billion rounds up to 18 rather cleanly).

The little girl's response?

"Woooooooooow! That's a lot of money!".

*sigh*

Wendy has 2 jars: 'NASA' and 'Education'. She gives people a poker chip (representing the $18 billion budget of NASA) and asks them 'where would you put your money?'

3 put their 'money' into Education, 2 (who are shown only as hands) put their 'money' into NASA.

REALLY? That's where you decide to take your coverage? Are you kidding me??

No mention that the $150 Billion they're spending on the space station is to be spent over a decade (a fact that the CBC themselves covered in a story in Feb, 2008). No mention of what was learned by 'bombing the moon' -- only that it made NASA a laughing stock.

Only numbers quickly thrown up, without context, in order to support a thesis (?) that has, by this time, become: 'NASA is a waste of money'.

But then, just to make it more confusing, they sit there and detail all the cool stuff we wouldn't have without NASA. Things like Weather Prediction and Air Traffic Collision Detection and Cell Phones.

That's right, after spending all that time slamming NASA, they go on to say how great it is... and then, just to stick the boot farther in your craw, Wendy ends that part of the segment with (and I kid you not) "Soo... a lot of arguments there".

Leaving no actual stance or answer to her own question... leaving me to question why the hell they gave 8-9 minutes to a half-baked segment that added nothing to the conversation, let alone shed any real light on the issues.

Seriously, what did I, as a viewer, gain from watching that?

Oh, and Peter Mansbridge's contribution? "Good arguments, both sides".

** Side note: Quote of the Show: "Wouldn't Africa argue: can we please have a snack?" - A smarmy, chuckling Wendy Mesley on what's 'owed to the Human race'. (37:15 into Oct 27th's online video)

What bothers me is that there's utterly no recognition that this is a Canadian show spending 8-9 minutes of a 44-ish minute show grilling an AMERICAN space program that has little to no direct bearing on present-day Canadian lives.

Why not take our own Space program to task for something? Or talk about how our space program is in need of more funding... or less, or why Canadians SHOULD care about NASA... or anything that impacts Canadians?

(EDIT: according to Peter, our CSA is incapable of launching satellites, that's why we rely on NASA and our allies to do it for us -- thanks Peter!).

Guess it's just not sexy enough to talk in 'millions' rather than 'billions'.

Here's an idea: Why not spend 8-9 more minutes with the guy who wants to take down the Ozone Machine seller from BC? Why not have more than ONE 'expert' to explain the situation, why not show some data to back up claims that the machine not only doesn't work but is potentially fatal? Why not talk about the kinds of numbers we're talking about here? How many Canadians have bought these machines? Is there any other purchaser who's willing to talk about their experiences?

Here's another idea: why not take some more time to talk about the H1N1 and the 6 children who've died in Canada from the virus -- rather than just proclaiming, with large RED letters that "6 children have died in Canada!".

See, those two pieces were actually somewhat interesting... until it started to slide into farce.

A nurse is brought into a hockey rink, before some concerned parents, to answer their questions.

What did the nurse tell the scared hockey parents to do? Sanitize their hockey equipment and pull their kids out of playing in games if they start to show any symptoms.

You know, like a cough.

Ummm... okay. I can understand the whole 'rather safe than sorry' thing, but isn't most of this what my grandmother would call 'common sense'? What about some facts on the flu shot... you know, like how long it takes to kick in? Or if the vaccine is good for people already infected (probably not, but what do I know, I'm not a doctor)? Or any other kind of medical advice I wouldn't have been able to get by calling up my mother...?

You know who I want to hear from?

I want to hear from the doctor who sent the most recent boy home to die from H1N1.

See, the boy complained of a sore throat so his mom took him to the doctor, who sent him home with some Tylenol.

And, to be clear, I don't want him on TV to publicly scorn him, or to make him feel like crap, I want to know what tests he did or didn't do. I want people to know how easy a mis-diagnosis with H1N1 can be.

I want doctors (of some credibility) to be on there explaining any symptoms that seem out of the ordinary, to be aware of, that might hint that it's H1N1 instead of any other virus.

Or telling people to ask their doctors to ask for their children to get an H1N1 test before being sent home -- yes, it can take between 1 and 5 days to get results... but it's still more help than 'wipe down your equipment with sanitizer'.

Or, since CBC is all about biting on American style, tell them to use the US government's H1N1 self-evaluation test. Again, may or may not work all the time, but it's still better than NOTHING.

In short: I want people to be warned by doctors to ask if they're unsure. I want them to help empower citizens rather than feeding them into the fear machine.

Finally, I want to know who's researching these shows and who's approving this crap to get on the air?

In my opinion, it looks like someone went and looked at The Daily Show and said 'make that, only serious and an hour long -- the kids will love it!'.

'Cause, say what you will, their NASA 'editorial' (...?) last night devolved into a skit.

A long, unfunny, skit... about something no one in Canada really cares about.

Speaking of 'things that nobody cares about' they continued their story from the night before about Canadians not caring about the Royal family.

Only this time they went out into the streets and asked people!

And guess what...?

No one, in fact, cared about the Royal Family. Well, except for the strangely obsessive lady with the fine dinnerware.

Which also makes me wonder: Did they run that obsessive lady in the story in order to mock her? (the footage presented certainly makes me think so).

Which then leads me to the real rub:

Near the end of the program, they choose to stick in -- by far -- their most interesting story. It's a story about the growing number of incidents of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder among RCMP officers.

I don't know why they felt this was not worthy of being closer to the beginning of the show, or even the middle of the show, but this was the closest thing to an interesting segment they've had so far.

Told through the perspective of Corporal David Gibbs -- an RCMP officer who works 7 days a week, 365 days a year -- he describes the toll that seeing 50+ horrible car crashes per year is taking on him and how it's slowly breaking him down.

I felt that this was a touching story about the stresses of a man who's overworked and well-aware of what's happening to him yet unable to get to the resources he needs to keep himself from falling victim to PTSD.

It, unlike any of the other stories, made me feel something -- made me WANT to connect. (segment starts at 44:30 of the online version)

Unfortunately, that feeling was short-lived as they segued into a preview of what's to come: A story about "American bailout money and how it's made many corporate titans 'change their ways'... but is that about to end?!"

Bah! I don't care.

You know what I care about? I care about finding out what's going on with all those CANADIAN businesses who got CANADIAN bailout money.

How're they doing?

What's the status update there?

What's the sitch with our crazy amounts of CANADIAN deficit?

I'm sorry but Peter Mansbridge, Wendy Mesley, seriously, you're so much better than this crap.

Please, please, please don't fall for the whole "your job is to read the news" B.S. Your job is to keep Canadians informed about Canadian issues. And I dearly hope you're fighting for us behind the scenes 'cause I'd hate to think that your jaw isn't clenched in disgust as you read some of these inane excuses for Journalism.

You're the faces of the station. Put your foot down, dammit.

'Cause it's not the format that bugs me, it's not the pretty colours, it's the fact that the egg has been genetically redesigned without its yolk.

Yes, it seems good for you; yes, it seems nutritious... but it's not.

It's hollow.

And I -- as a tax-paying, proud, Canadian citizen -- am demanding better.

I sincerely hope that The National improves, I hope that these are all just stumbles on the way to discovering its stride.

But as of right now, I'm very deeply concerned.

Good Luck,
Brandon

Monday, October 26, 2009

Victorious!

So, unfortunately Saturday and Sunday ended up being busy days post-climb... so the update is coming today.

Saturday morning was a bit crazy, I'd managed to get myself up and out of bed for 5:30am, I was dressed, I was ready, I was thinking 'hey, no problem I'll just walk on over to the Metro Toronto Convention center'.

Turns out it's a bit longer of a walk than I'd anticipated.

On the bright side, I realized just how beautiful post-rain Toronto is at 6-ish in the morning.

It ended up being close to a 40 minute walk just to get down there. Again, I figured I'd show up, get in line, get up the tower and head right back off to bed. This was wishful thinking in the extreme.

See, I wasn't the only one who had the idea to climb the CN Tower as early as possible (you know, to beat the crowds). As I walked into the room my jaw dropped: hundreds of people stretching and milling and lining up... at 6:30 in the morning!

I get into line -- apparently I was an 'early bird' because I showed up before 7am, so I got a free ticket to get back up the CN Tower later. Pretty cool.

Anyways, yeah, I get into line to hand in my money and register proper. Then I get in line to get to the coat check, then I do a bit of stretching and head off to line up to get into the CN Tower.

From there I walk outside the Convention Center where I'm 'scanned' with wand for any metallic devices (absolutely no cell phones, cameras, mp3 players, or anything!), walk up a ramp, check through another security check point and finally line up at the 'stairs' entrance.

All told, I didn't step on the first step of the tower climb until 7:22am.

But I was finally there, finally on my way up.

And that's where I learned a very specific lesson in training: The stair climbing machine is not like climbing stairs. See, on the stair climbing machine there's a bit of give in it, a subtle bounce in each step that pushes your feet back up.

Not so with the hard metallic steps they have in the tower. No, I put my foot down and it pretty much went 'thud'.

Which led me to my next revelation: I was getting tired, and fast. I looked up to see that I was on the 10th floor... of 144... and I was already sweating. Worse: my legs were burning.

By the time I hit floor 30 I realized I was in real trouble -- what had happened to me? Where did all my training go?

And that's when a thought bloomed in my head, "Stop looking at the big picture. Small goals, baby steps if you have to. One foot in front of the other". I started counting the steps on the next landing.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12.

12 steps.

And that became the plan. 12 steps, mental checkmark. 12 more, check again. Head down, one foot in front of the other. I try to push every single thought out of my head. Nothing but the numbers, nothing but 1, 2, 3, 4, 5...

Next thing I know I'm on floor 52.

Emboldened by this revelation, I start to think about how many stairs I've climbed, how many stairs I'm doing per minute... and then I drop kick that thought out of my head.

1, 2, 3, 4...

Another twelve steps down and I'm officially making progress. I pass some people sitting off on the sides as they fight to catch their breath. A few more floors, I pass an EMT as some guy is being helped with an oxygen mask.

Don't think, don't worry, keep your head down, keep counting.

Legs burning? Who cares, keep counting.

Around floor 90 I think I got my my second (or 3rd?) wind. The pain in my legs finally goes away, but my pace is definitely slower. Still, I just keep on moving.

Keep counting.

After floor 120 and I start to feel a tinge of hope, I get excited, I want to make a break for it. But I know better now. I know that I've made it this far -- without stopping! -- only because I've been careful to stay within my limits. I know that if I stop, I won't be starting again any time soon.

So I keep on pushing, landing after landing, watching the people by the wayside as they gasp and fight the pain in their lungs. A few rush by on the Left, taking stairs 2 at a time, I stay far out of their way.

Finally, I hit floor 143 and my knees almost buckle with excitement. I look above me and sure enough, only one floor left. I push on, forcing my legs to climb the last 12 twelve steps. I tell myself that the journey's over, that I've made it.

I hit floor 144 and hurdle myself through the open doorway. I stop, confusion turning to frustration.

More stairs. Several landings worth.

I suck in a gasp of air and I run. I climb floor after floor, giving it every last sweaty bead of juice -- time card extended as the people at the check-in desk cheer me on.

I dive forward, handing off my card and it's punched with my finishing time.

I'm there, I'm done... what the hell?!

More steps. 9 more landings up (okay, who's idea was it to get creative with the floor count?!).

And yet up I go -- 'cause, really, what's 9 more floors after doing 144? -- soon I find myself on the main deck as a nice lady claps and hands me a bottle of water. I whisper 'thank you' from my parched throat and chug the bottle.

One thing I have to say is that going out on the observation deck at quarter to 8 in the morning is one hell of an experience. Nevermind the view, standing out there as the morning wind whips through me is the best part of the whole experience... the only word I can use to describe it is 'cleansing'.

Yes, my legs ache, my body's cold and my throat is raw... but I can't help but feel amazing as I stand there watching the sun peek out from behind the clouds.

If the climb was the test then surely this moment was the reward.

Unfortunately, time flies and soon I'm sent packing down the elevator, back into the Convention Center. I hand off my timecard and watch as numbers are written on the back of T-shirt for me.

My final time? 27 mins 15 seconds

And, as a bonus (for me at least) I made it all the way from the first landing to the last without stopping. Yes, I definitely slowed at a few places, but I never allowed myself to stop.

Always one foot in front of the other, counting my way, 12 steps at a time, up the CN Tower.

I want to say a huge thank you to everyone who supported me through this grand adventure... because, more than just the physical aspect (I'm absolutely more in shape than when I started), I definitely feel like I've learned something more out of it all:

Sometimes when I'm presented with a problem, it seems so big, so insurmountable that it becomes disheartening. It sucks the wind right out of me.

I've since come to learn that that is absolutely the wrong way to look at it.

See, it's good to know what the big picture looks like but the more important part is to know how to pick away at the problem; to figure out how to accomplish it bit by bit while knowing that, sometimes, it's all about just knuckling down and doing the work.

Cause, no matter what, eventually, I'll get there.

Cheers all!
Brandon

Friday, October 23, 2009

Standing in the shadow of the Tower

It's the night before the big climb.

After all of my sweat and pain, after all of the self-doubt and fear, my month-long odyssey of preparation has lead me here.

Tomorrow morning at 6am I'll be out there and warmed up, ready to climb all 1776 stairs - 342 metres - of the CN Tower. For charity.

Honestly, I'm a weird mix of excited and nervous. I wonder if I've trained myself hard enough, if I've really done everything I could.

I guess I'll find out soon enough.

To make matters more interesting, my wife's getting back from a business trip (been gone for 2 whole -- and very long -- weeks) tonight... late tonight.

I have a feeling it's going to be a 'Hi honey, welcome back! Well... see you tomorrow' kind of situation as I rush off to try and catch some shut eye.

Tho' I figure I'll give the whole place a good once-over tonight as a surprise for her. She'll come in, tired, jet-lagged and see sparkling tile and vacuumed carpets... hopefully, that'll be a good 'welcome home' present.

On a side note, can I just say that it's such a weird sensation for me to really miss someone like I've been missing my wife?

I mean, don't get me wrong, I miss my friends and all... but for me and my wife this was the first time we've been away from each other (for any long period of time) since we've been married -- and man, there wasn't one day these last couple weeks that I managed to get to sleep before 4am.

And, no, it's not like I was laying there pining away or anything... I just couldn't sleep. I'd end up laying there, tossing and turning, feeling like 'man, this sucks' until the 4am sleep-exhaustion-fairy came by to kick me in the teeth.

Hopefully that'll be a problem solved shortly.

Anyways, yeah... tomorrow all the chips are on the table. Wish me luck ;)

And, hey, there's still time to donate to the cause (I'm climbing the CN Tower for the United Way on behalf of Ink Canada ;)!

Donate here: http://my.e2rm.com/personalPage.aspx?SID=2386085

Cheers!
Brandon