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Thursday, January 10, 2008

Excuse me, what?!

Interesting conversation today:

"Yeah, I'm kind of in a panic, trying to get this script done so I can apply for the CFC."
"Oh? Are you applying for the film course?"
"No, TV Prime Time Program"
"Why are you in a panic then? The deadline's not until mid-May"
"No it's not, it's January 28th."
"No. That's the Film program. Look it up."

So I did.

Well, fuck me with a rusty chainsaw: May 16th, 2008.

I don't know where I got the 28th from but daaaamn, I believed it. I have been burning the candle at both ends, sleeping like 4-5 hours a night, working my ass off because I wanted to make sure that what I was submitting would be the best damn thing I could make in the time that I had. I figured "Get it done early and spend extra time polishing it up". Well, I guess that won't be a problem now.

I'm so mad at myself, I just don't understand how I got it mixed up.

Somehow I got it into my head that it was the 28th and, rather than checking or double-checking, I ran off, full-tilt. Ugh!

Yes, the bright side is that I've managed to do something I've never done before: I pulled a pretty damn good story out of my ass and put together the first draft in about 2 weeks (it'll be finished tonight or tomarrow) - but DAMN... I'd been getting stressed over this. Between work and life and this I was getting kinda rough around the edges from pushing myself so hard.

And I was having the time of my life.

See, the trick for me is that I work really well under pressure, under deadlines - I don't always particularly "enjoy" it, but my best work has always come out when I'm beating a clock or competing in some way. When the pressure is there, the game gets brought - when it's not, well, there are alot of things in my life vying for attention. I was loving having to prove something to myself, to see if I could make it, to see if I was good enough. But now that's gone.

And it really bugs me.

So, what am I going to do now? Well, first off, I'm going to complete this script - on schedule! - and work with it for the next while, make another draft at least, show it to some friends. I've managed to get myself into a pretty solid writing routine and I don't want to screw that up. Mr. Robinson has made it clear that if I have other Sci-Fi related things that I should send them his way and I think that's where I'll focus my goals for the next little while. I've got 2 other ideas I've been batting around and hopefully this will be an incentive for me to keep writing.

I'm going to have to learn how to write a proper pitch document though, so that's also on my list.

I figure that 2 pilot scripts and their respective pitches should keep me busy for a while at least.

It's funny, I kind of feel like something has been ripped away from me - even though I know I shouldn't. I've got alot to be happy about: more time, more insight, proof that I CAN do it - but I was so looking forward to that deadline... as crazy as that sounds.


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