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Monday, January 07, 2008

Some clarification may be in order...

So I wrote on Friday about how excited I was to have my eyes opened but what I forgot to mention was the context of his comments.

The script? He loved it, thought it was great. The Bible is what tripped him up - and that's entirely my own fault. See what I'd done is tried to write a series bible with no prior experience. Sure, I'd gone to the web and looked up what I could (found an INSANELY detailed bible for HE-MAN) but I could find nothing on the actual 'How To' of creating a series bible (aka story bible).

Needless to say, I decided to wing it.

My first big mistake was that I actually thought of it as a 'SERIES' bible. I had written into it enough backstory, major arcs, character arcs, secondary character arcs, development and story leads for 2 or 3 seasons. I went into the deep history of my world and created not only a mythology but a bestiary of sorts.

My second mistake was that not only was it incredibly detailed, it was dense - all of that contained in 27 pages. I thought I'd paved a clear path from start to finish with it but it turns out that I'd managed to completely overload the reader with information. So, needless to say, lesson learned. I'll have to keep that in mind as I make the second draft of it.

In other news, the 'bolt of lightning' has successfully made its way through and out of my system. I captured as much as I could in the cloudy bottle that is my mind - hopefully I remember how to open it when I need it. Damn child-proof lids...

On the bright side I managed to harness some of that energy and put it into my Battlestar script. As of last night I'm officially halfway done and, for a first draft, I'm really excited about it! I've got more than a few scenes that I'm quite proud of and I'm finding it quite interesting how my writing style seems to have changed. I can't quite place it but it just feels a lot more exciting as I'm writing it - almost cinematic. I really see the images in my head as I write them, watching the story unfold like a real episode.

Also, I used a bit of that lightning to create an offshoot of Savage Knights. It's still in very basic form but it's set in the same world and more for teens. It's a lot more episodic in nature and less violent, less horror, more rollicking adventure-ish. I could almost see it as an animated series.

So yeah, I've got some notes on that, going to think up some story ideas just for kicks. Battlestar's on track for the end of next week and then I can get to the business of doing all the OTHER things they want me to do :P

If you're interested, I'm posting a scene from my script below here. I know that some writers don't like to read other writers work before its finished but I'm quite happy with it and want to see if I can pique your curiosity with this bit from the teaser. Hope you enjoy!

The setup: The Cylons have just shown up en masse to invade New Caprica and Adama orders the fleet to Emergency Jump. Now millions of kilometers away and unable to make contact with the planet, the reality of their situation sets in.


The Chrion is a luxury liner that has seen better days, the bridge is in disarray and swarmed with scared people clamoring over each other, yelling, trying to be heard. The Captain, MARKUS ARRIN, is a tall, well-built man in the remnants of 'proper' uniform. His voice is inaudible, lost in the din. Soon his calm, professional manner melts away and he starts shouting for people to calm down. That shout is heard over on Galactica, along with the cries of the passengers.

Sir, what is going on? I've got a lot of people here --

Mr. Arrin, we're doing everything in our power --

A well-dressed man PUSHES Captain Arrin out of the way and grabs the phone.

Why have we stopped? We have to keep going! The Cylons will find us! Once they're finished with New Caprica --

He is forcibly dragged away by a security detail.


We hear the sounds of a struggle engulf CIC for a brief moment. The words "They're dead, they're all dead!" echo throughout before Adama spins to Mr. Loomis.

Cut it!

The room goes silent.

Carolanne is there again, just in the peripheral.

You're losing them, William. They can see right through you.

He looks at her, a flash of confusion and horror on his face.

(to himself)
... not time yet.

She smiles at him.

You can't ignore me William, not anymore. You can't ignore us.

(to Carolanne)
Shut up!

The entire crew looks to him and he realizes. The room is still silent. That silence is broken by Mr. Loomis.


Adama is distracted. He tries again.


Adama snaps to Rygel Loomis and he flinches as the Admiral turns his gaze on him.

Um... We - we have more incoming calls, sir.

From who?

Mr. Loomis checks his instruments again to be sure.

All of them.


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