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Friday, April 17, 2009

29 years in the making (27 days remaining...)

You know, it's days like today that I sit back and look at where I am and where I'm going.

I'm 29 today.

And I'm not entirely sure how I feel about that.

I remember back when I was a frustrated art kid back in college - when I first started scrabbling together this whole concept of 'me-becoming-a-writer'. I had this whole idea that I was going to make it big by 25, have my own show by 27 and, hell, have my name scrawled on the moon in lights by 30.

As you can see, that didn't quite happen.

Instead, I got something better.

One thing I've learned over the last year or so is that it's one thing to dream big - it's a whole other ballgame to make the sacrifices necessary that'll bring that dream home... and still fail... and then have to start again. From scratch.

Last year, when I didn't get into the CFC I took it pretty hard - I wasn't really prepared for the idea that I wouldn't get in. I expected the world to make way for me because I worked my butt off. Because I put in the time and the effort and the sleepless nights.

Thing was, my best wasn't good enough. Not then. It's a realization that I came to terms with early but only really accepted as I started digging new trenches and filling them with the experiences of this last year. It was nothing personal, it was a challenge. It was life saying "Great, you worked hard... now push it farther". Again, one thing to know it, to think you understand it. A whole other ballgame to put that shaky foot forward again.

And I have.

I'm 29 years old and I am a goddamn writer - a much better writer than I was last year, certainly a better writer than when I was 25.

And I'm just getting started.


You know, it's funny... the concept that my career - hell, my life - wouldn't get fully off the ground until I was headed on to 30 was so alien to me that I never even considered that it could happen. I never thought that I'd be a 3rd through my life before I'd be actively following my passion.

But, you know, life... life's tangential like that - before you know it you're off jumping out of a plane or working a dead-end jo-job for 10 hours a day.

It's all about finding ways to make the tangents connect, to bring it all back home and focus it.

I'm not sure what this year has in store for me -- actually, scratch that - I do. This year'll involve me, in one way, shape or form, working my ass off to bust out and into the industry I love. To finally get myself working in the Canadian Television Industry. And maybe, maybe, get started on the process of spending the next 60-odd years doing what I love: sharing a good tale.

Cheers all,

1 comment:

nathan said...

Happy Birthday Man!

Totally know the feeling. Most days the fight is half the fun.

My mantra on bad days is it's not worth it if you don't have to fight for it.