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Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Coping With Writer's Remorse (16 Days Remaining...)

So, I finished my 1st draft around midnight last night and I've since sent out my first copies to my ever-lovin' readers (you guys are seriously awesome).

And, of course, my first read-through - post-sending - was... traumatic.

It's funny how I can finish writing something and think it's a beautiful, floating ball of immaculate light and then - 5 seconds after I send it off - the glow turns a sickly yellow and heretofore unseen tentacles begin to molest my eyeballs.

Right off the bat: spelling mistakes and entire swaths of dialogue that're just bland and boring and...

Why did I send it? Why?! Ugh.

There goes another small patch of hair...

Little things like missed punctuation are bad enough but then I realize - hey! I missed half a sentence. That's right, an entire chunk of dialogue just cut off - who knows where it went, or if I ever finished it in the first place, or why I didn't catch it in my post-writer-coitus read-through (actually I think that last one's kinda self-explanatory...).

It's funny how my brain can just flick that switch, like some sort of brain-on-Brandon practical joke.

As if he's sitting there in my skull, snickering away with my eyes (drinking buddies, no doubt - who're SO totally in on this...!), being all like: "okay, is it safe to show him how much he tossed this one up?'

And then *poof*, veil lifted to reveal spelling and grammar mistakes galore.

Sooo, right... it's times like this where one comes to realize why most writers don't show their first drafts to anyone.

Of course, I'm notorious for not following that rule... which I'm sure will come to bite me in the ass eventually. I've always figured that the earlier I get feedback on things the better - but yeah, that's pretty much as double-edged a sword as you can get.

Anyways, I'll be starting work on version 1.5 probably tomorrow night (gotta see my Chuck finale tonight... thank you PVR!) - It'll mostly consist of me cleaning up all the chunky missteps of version 1.0; Sanding off the edges in preparation for notes and feedback - at which point I'll end up ripping up the floor again.

On the bright side, all that doesn't get ripped up will be shiny and pretty, thus making version 2.0 and, maybe 2.5 all the better.

Just gotta remember: It's all a process; Everything starts out clunky and jagged and painful - the craft of it is all about trying to make it shine. Trying to make it better.

Not easy... but damn is it fun.

Wish me luck!


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