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Wednesday, August 25, 2010

404, Daily: Chapter Thirteen

So, I've managed to sort paint myself into a corner here -- the first page of Chapter 13 is, as it turns out, a big plot reveal and no matter how I've tried to write it, there's just no way around it.

Thing is, I really want to keep up with my tradition of posting something the first page from each chapter -- but if I do, I'm going to give something massive away.

After a long internal struggle about what to do here -- 'cause I'm sure it's going to come up again over time -- I've decided that instead of posting the chapter, I'll post an alternate or deleted scene from my book.

These alternate (or deleted) scenes are areas that I was either thinking of exploring or tried exploring that lead me to a dead end or took me too far away from the story I was trying to tell.

I've kept them though (I have a fair number, actually) and had intended to release them as 'extras' for the final print and/or eNovel -- and I'm sure I still will -- but for now I need something interesting to fill up this space... so hopefully you won't mind.

*Please Note: What follows below is an ALTERNATE SCENE for the Senator's speech in Chapter 2.

Also: Episode #3 (which collects the finished and polished versions of chapters 11-15) will be available on Sunday, August 29th for 99 cents CAD.

You are encouraged to offer feedback and/or interact with me as this process unfolds. I'd love to hear what you like, what you don't like and what you'd love to see more of.

“I mean, what will the government be doing to help us through this trying time?”

The senator turns his gaze into the camera, his stretched face contorting into something resembling concern.

“Well, I’m glad you asked that, Marco. Though we are presently working on a solution to get us back up and online with the rest of the world, we’ve figured out a solution that I think most of us will be quite happy with. I’m here today, under special authorization from the President himself, to announce that over the next six months we will be unveiling the ‘Internet 2.0’."

The senator pauses for dramatic effect, letting those words sink in.

"It’s something special that the boys at MIT have been working on for a while now that will offer you download speeds in the Gigabytes per second – imagine, watching your next Hollywood movie from the comfort of your home with no download time; Or having High-definition, real-time conversations with your friends with no lag; Or gaming with only the most massive of massively multiplayer online games. We’re going to bring you the future.”

Marco watches as the Senator morphs into full-blown car salesman mode, waving his hands and exploding with emotion. By the time he’s finished he wipes the spittle from the corners of his mouth and settles back into his seat.

This was a scene that I absolutely loved when I wrote it because a lot of what's in here is true -- there is actually an 'Internet 2.0' in development (called Internet2) and it has been for quite some time.

The problem arose when, essentially, it got rid of the entire atmosphere for my story.

On some levels it made sense -- and asked a whole ream of interesting questions about 'big brother' and our security and what we'd be willing to accept in order to go back to 'normal' after a catastrophe. But I realized those questions weren't really what was attracting me to this story.

Plus, I think they've already been covered rather well over the years.

So I pulled it out and put in the scene you see in Chapter 2. I think it works a lot better in the end.

1 comment:

Emma said...

Brandon nice article looking for the chapter 14.. i just love to Watch Dollhouse