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Friday, September 17, 2010

404, Daily: Chapter Thirty

Hey all!

Chapter 30 is complete and that means only 2 episodes left until we reach the end. Pretty darn snazzy!

That said, unfortunately, can't post a Daily for chapter 30 because, well, it's about as spoiler-riffic as they come. Pretty much the whole thing is full of reveals and such.

So, well, it looks like you'll be getting a few more deleted or alternate scenes today -- that is until you pick up Episode #6 this Sunday night.

Again, next week we'll be on hiatus so there won't be anything 404-related going on -- story-wise, at least.

Keep an eye out for a cool contest that I'll be running all next week.


*Please Note: What follows below are ALTERNATE SCENES and are not a part of the story proper.

Also: Episode #6 (which collects the finished and polished versions of chapters 26-30) will be available on Sunday, September 19th for 99 cents CAD.

You are encouraged to offer feedback and/or interact with me as this process unfolds. I'd love to hear what you like, what you don't like and what you'd love to see more of.

This deleted scene is from chapter 15 – I was originally going to add Freya to the group as a friendly character early on in the story but then I realized that adding a SysOp to the party would be something far too powerful for the group as a whole (let alone how easily it could derail my story).

I did spend a good amount of time figuring out a backstory for her but in the end, I had to cut this part of the story out.

* * *

Jess slams the car door shut and locks it as a door behind her opens -- the young woman, Freya, jumps into the plush back seat "Give me back my 'book!"

She dives for the thin, black netbook sitting beside Jess but Jess turns and puts a gun in Freya's face. "In or out, make up your mind. If it's 'in' then shut the fuck up."

Freya throws herself backward into the plush leather seats, crossing her arms, her eyes narrowed in anger. "Fine."

Jess slams the gas pedal into the floor, wheeling the car around, spitting up gravel as they peel away. The body guards give chase, continuing to unload round into the car as it speeds down the cracked and bumpy road.


--- SPOILER ---

This scene is also from chapter 15. Originally, I was going to kill off Aang because, at the time, I liked the idea of him being killed by his own men. However, after reading it over in context, I came to realize that I was ripping off my characters in not allowing them to have a real interaction with the man. And so Aang lived… at least for that moment.

Also, as a story note, I'd forgotten that Jess had left her cellphone back in the fort -- so, yeah, that didn't work for another reason.

* * *

Marco holds the netbook close as he steps out, rounding his way to the back of the car to see dozens of bullet holes in the rear-end. Jess holds the trunk open and he looks inside to see that Aang is quite dead.

“That’s a few more bullet holes than what I put in him.” Jess shakes her head. “What the hell’re we going to do now? That bitch ain’t gonna ta-- what’re you doing?”

“I have not come all this way, been put through all this shit just to be stopped by a corpse. Aang knew Alex Wong, which means he’s got to have some sort of contact information with him. Probably on his phone.” Marco, with slow, determined, careful movements, pushes his hands onto Aang’s body, trying to avoid the bloody bits but not succeeding.

He stops, looks at the blood on his hands, gags then continues the pat-down. Reaching into one pocket, he pulls out a wallet. Reaching into a holster, he pulls out a gun. At the bottom of Aang’s waist, just below a gaping gunshot wound, Marco slides his hand into the pocket, feeling the soft caress of ragged meat on his wrist -- and his stomach lurch -- as he fishes around inside.

After a long moment he pulls out a blood-soaked cell phone.

“Jeezus!” Jess watches as the red fluid drips from the end of the phone. “That’s never going to work, and even if it does, I’m not using it.”

“That’s okay,” Marco smiles, sliding the back off of the phone, fishing out the battery as he slides his finger along the backside, pulling out a small white card. “We’ve got his SIM card. Here, put this in your phone.”

He hands her the card and looks for a place to wipe his hands.

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