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Monday, January 24, 2011

Setting Up The Crib

You know, people often talk about that 'moment of no return' -- that single define-able moment where, as they say in the funny pictures, "Shit just got real".

We set up the baby's crib this weekend, put everything into place, picked the colour of the sheets and even the very first outfit our little boy would wear.

Yeah, it was pretty intense. Happy. But intense.

I'm often on here talking about the 'birthing' process of my scripts -- from the horrible first draft (the 'vomit draft') to that one final moment when I put down my keyboard and say 'yes, this is ready for the world'.

Over the last eight months I've discovered that the two processes are nowhere near the same.

When I'm writing my story, from the moment I first envisage my characters, my world, my dialogue... it's there. I know it. I may change it or re-write it or end up scrapping it... but it, at some point, is known to me. It's all mine to control and change and mold as I see fit.

Yet I sit here with my wife, watching this little ball of life kick at her spleen or do back-flips inside her womb... and the enormity of the mystery overwhelms me. I sit here considering the variables -- so much outside of my control, so little that I will end up having a direct say in. I can guide but never truly control.

I watch this little guy, not even born yet -- an idea made flesh -- and I wonder about every little detail of his adventures to come. Who will he be? How will he interpret the world around him? What will he think of it? Will he be charming and gregarious? Will he be quiet and learned?

Who will be his friends? Who will be those that will stick by him through thick and thin, through things he can't bring himself to talk to us about?

There are so many things that I have a say in in my scripts. I control every facet of the world, every thought and word that my characters speak.

And yet this little man, influenced by me for a relatively short time, will defy me... just as sure as I defied my parents and they theirs. He will infuriate me and frustrate me and sadden me and impress me and surprise me.

I know all this as surely as I can know anything in this world.

And yet for all these things, and for everything that I cannot foresee, I can't believe how excited I am to meet this little stranger.

Man, February 15th is coming way too fast...


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