Okay, so my mind's not quite working tonight -- been trying to write this post for the last few hours but I think I've had far too much sugar and caffeine today. I'm not sure why, I'm normally not much for caffeine (and I prefer my sugar in 'scotch' format) but nevertheless, my mind seems unable to focus on anything outside of how little I'm able to focus on anything.
Incidentally, on a side note, I found a really neat site that shows a bunch of different beatsheets from a wide assortment of films and TV series. Check out 'Beat Sheet Central' here: http://www.beatsheetcentral.com/.
Monday I'll post a full rough beat sheet for my A story and we'll see how that goes. I've been playing around with a bunch of different concepts so hopefully by then I'll have some sort of amalgam that really grabs me.
In other news, I just reformatted my laptop... and it ended up being a rather profound experience. See, over the last year or so I started putting all this random shit on my laptop and over said last year it started to slow down on me, eventually getting to the point where I couldn't work at all. I'd turn the bloody thing on and it'd just sit there, loading... then loading... then chugging... then loading.
Now this laptop isn't the fastest thing in the world -- a 3rd-hand Portege 2000 with an old Pentium 3 chip and 256 megs of ram. It was certainly never designed to watch Youtube (16 megs of video RAM!)... and yet, as a writing tool, I dunno, it's just fantastic. The screen, the keyboard, everything just melds in this way where I get into this zone. My writing zone.
And over time, with various bad decisions, it got corrupted. By the end, Windows would barely load. Worse, instead of sitting down and making it right, I just said 'crap' and let it lay that way.
And so it laid there for the last few months, just taking up space, collecting dust. My morning writing sessions withered. My weekend writing sessions crumbled.
But last night I pulled this lil' wonder down off the shelf, I'm not entirely sure why... maybe I was curious, maybe I'd just gotten fed up...
I carefully, painfully, copied what I could from the drive onto my USB key (Which took several hours, with several restarts due to overheating) and then I wiped it clean. Full-on clean re-install.
Which took another hour or so.
But when it was all said and done, my little laptop -- this silly old hunk of plastic and silicon -- was back. Not exactly 'zippy'... it'd never been 'zippy'... but I could type in real-time, and that was more than good enough for me.
It's sort of weird how distractions can pile up around us, can pull us in a dozen different directions and ultimately keep us from getting anything done. I sometimes feel frozen like that, like I've got so much I want to do, so much I want to accomplish and so little time to do it in. I end up pushing myself, spreading myself thin, and then wonder why projects are languishing.
Keeping all the balls in the air is tough; keeping yourself from putting them there in the first place... well, that's a good bit tougher.
Sometimes it's good to just hit the reset button, to start fresh and give yourself another chance. To focus on what you really want to be doing.
More to come.